Living my life

For most people, life is a series of days lived in much the same way with the occasional challenge or highlight. We do our jobs, sleep, eat and fill those precious leisure hours with whatever distraction appeals. Some enjoy watching television or reading a book, others will partake in a sport or go shopping for pleasure, if we are lucky we will have the opportunity to meet up with friends from time to time and enjoy special events – outings, dinners, parties. Each of us will have different interests and most will enjoy a variety of pursuits or relaxations. We will choose to spend time with those whose company we enjoy, who share our interests and who make us feel good about ourselves. If only we could avoid those who bring us down.

We all have times when we are required to do something that we would not choose to do. When I have an event such as this in my diary I catch myself dreading it and wishing it over. I am wishing my life away and I do not want to do that. Life is such a precious thing.

Pleasure can be gained from so many little things, from the repetitive and mundane as well as the highlights and special. It can be too easy to take for granted the things that make life good. There have been too many times in my life when I have tried to be something that I am not, and this has inevitably lead to me feeling bad about myself. I can try to learn new skills, I can practice in an attempt to improve, but I cannot be a different person. When I have tried to fit into a mould that I think another expects of me then I end up feeling that I have failed. Better to admire achievements without feeling the need to try to emulate them.

Accepting what we are, gaining pleasure from the little things we encounter from day to day and not allowing the events that we dread to bring us down are so much easier if we can cultivate a positive attitude to life. I have much to be thankful for but this can still be hard.  It sometimes feels as if others are determined to pull me down, which is why I try to live my life in the here and now. What has gone before cannot be changed and what is to come may never happen. We only have now.

If I can spend my day making life for those around me just a little bit easier or more pleasurable then that will be a good day. If I can enjoy a few moments of quiet contemplation; smile at the funny antics of my little flock of hens or appreciate the beauty of the countryside that stretches out from the windows of my home, then that will be a good day. I do not need to bake the perfect cake, or turn my messy house into a shining example of good housekeeping. I do not need to be different just because someone else cannot accept me for what I am.

Coping with others expectations can be a challenge but fulfilment can only be reached if we are achieving our own goals. I have my dreams and hopes like anyone else but they are mine, not others, and I know that only I can make them happen; one step at a time, one day at a time. Along the way I will appreciate the life I am leading, I will do my best to enjoy the journey, I will live my life.



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