The Last Act of Love, by Cathy Rentzenbrink, is a raw and heartfelt account of sibling love and loss. In the summer of 1990 the author’s brother, Matty, was knocked down by a car on his way home from a night out. Eight years later she and her parents went to court for permission to withdraw all life-sustaining treatment, including nutrition and hydration, to allow him to die. This is the story of how they got to that point, and the effect those eight years and their aftermath have had on Cathy’s life.
At sixteen years old Matty was already over six feet tall. He was a popular, handsome, intelligent young man. He and his sister helped out at their parents’ pub, located in a small Yorkshire town where they were well known and liked. The family was incredibly close.
The children smoked and drank, worked hard and played hard. The were lively and confident, relishing the life opening up to them. Matty had already renovated an old motorbike, learned to drive a car on private land. Although younger than her by a year, he looked out for his sister and she felt proud that he did.
When Matty was taken to hospital after the accident the doctors recognised the seriousness of his injuries but the family retained the belief that he could one day recover. They modified their lives and then their home to accommodate his many needs. Each time he suffered a life threatening setback they asked that he be treated. It was many years before they accepted that this may not be in his best interests, that death is not the worst thing that can happen to a person.
Getting to that point changed Cathy forever. Living with having chosen to let her beloved brother die proved devastating. She hid much of what she was feeling from the world. The excesses she turned to in an attempt to distract herself from her grief enabled survival but created their own regrets. That she made it out the other side is an achievement.
I found this quite a difficult book to read, not because of the writing, which is fluid and gripping, but because the pain Cathy conveyed felt so real. I was hurting for her loss, empathising with her guilt and understanding that the hole Matty left could never be filled.
Cathy found some solace when she learned more about Matty’s condition after his death and realised that others who had been through similar experiences felt as she did. She began to learn how to move forward, damaged but no longer feeling the need to hide her scars.
Her story has the potential to help others who have loved and lost as well as those who wish to support them. It is a powerful read.
[…] The Last Act of Love by Cathy Rentzenbrink […]